


Beautiful Wreck

by EarthsickWithoutYou



Category: The Flash
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-07 06:31:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16848919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthsickWithoutYou/pseuds/EarthsickWithoutYou
Summary: Caitlin suddenly sees Harry again after months of him being back on Earth-2, and she's frustrated after he never replied to a message she sent confessing her feelings to him.  Little does she suspect how he really feels for her or the battle they will endure to bring him back to her for good.





	1. Chapter 1

Caitlin Snow was just trying to pick through the remains of what passed for salad greens at the height of the Christmas season in an overcrowded supermarket, that was _all_ she was trying to do. God knew she’d rather have a burger, and what the hell, maybe she would just get some and put the lettuce on top of the damn burger! Her feet ached and her mind reeled after another long day at STAR labs as the battle against Cicada was getting more frustrating by the day. 

She furrowed her brow and dug her free hand into her coat pocket when her phone chirped with a new text, but what she saw on the screen nearly made her scream, cry, and jump for joy, all at the same time. Her light brown eyes went huge and her mauve-glossed lips parted in disbelief. She immediately called Cisco and demanded, “ _What?_ Are you serious?”, nearly shouting to be heard above the cacophony of shoppers around her.

“Yeah, he’s back! It’s real!” Cisco crowed happily, expecting Caitlin to share in his unfiltered glee. “It’s a long story, but he wanted to see you when you weren’t here so we pinged your location and he’s on his way. Listen, there’s something he needs our help with, so he’s going to give you a ride back to the—“

Caitlin’s mind darted between a million different ideas and reactions, shades of shocked euphoria, anger, grief, eagerness and resistance. Before she could process the onslaught of emotions, she heard a heartbreakingly familiar, soft voice behind her.

“Hey, Snow,” Harry Wells said simply. She squeezed her eyes shut, gripping the bag of lettuce for dear life, forgetting all about Cisco as her friend called her name repeatedly, then assumed the reception was bad and hung up.

She knew what she would see if she turned around. She knew he would be looking at her so innocently, yet sexily with those thoughtful blue eyes that could never quite succeed in covering his sweet disposition with grumpy disdain. She knew he would be dressed all in black, looking like he’d just walked off the set of some incredibly high-end porn movie made for people who found brilliant scientists highly arousing. Worst of all, she knew he would have some excuse for the way he never answered her message, why it had been months since she’d seen him or heard his voice. Why he’d broken her heart and left her all alone. Why, despite having finally opened his heart and found a way to find peace and balance in himself after a life of stormy internal conflict, he hadn’t wanted to include Caitlin in his new beginning.

So she turned around slowly, suspiciously, finding that her heart tried to explode when their eyes met. She supposed there was some kind of outer shell of stubborn pride that prevented her tenderest organ from bursting, but it hurt so much more to hold it all inside. 

“Harry,” Caitlin replied, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice as another startling revelation struck her: she’d even missed _this_. The pain that came with loving him. She’d missed it so damn much.  


Harry did a double-take at her unenthused greeting, stepping towards her looking baffled as he ran a hand through his tousled black hair, then adjusted his glasses as though he must be seeing things. Dr. Caitlin “Sunshine Personified” Snow was inexplicably mad at him, mad at her dear friend? How could this be?

“Caitlin, is everything okay?” he asked, concerned. He looked exactly the same as she remembered. He looked perfect and it was tearing her apart.

His confusion infuriated her. “Oh, I’m sorry, perhaps you’ve mistaken me for someone else, someone you’re interested in knowing,” she said sharply, alarmed by her out-of-control reaction but unable to stop herself. “Do you even know how long it took me to get up the nerve to send that cube? How long I waited to hear _back_ from you?” She went to cross her arms, then realized she was still holding the bag of romaine and scowled. 

“Your…message? Snow, what are you talking about, you sent me a cube on Earth-2?” Harry put his hands on her shoulders and the soothing pressure made her chin wobble as her eyes glazed over with tears. 

“Don’t _do_ that, Harry!” she demanded, batting at him with the bag of lettuce, though the gesture was pointless. The more he stayed there, holding onto her, looking down at her with so much bewildered affection, Caitlin was practically massaging his chest with the bag, then her hand fell away and it dropped to the floor.

“Don’t do what?” he asked, his fingers spreading more widely over her upper arms. “I missed you, Caitlin. Please, hear me out about something…the thing that Marlize did to me, making me less smart but better able to deal with my feelings…you know?”

She nodded, biting her lip, her fury fading into worry at the way he was struggling for words to explain himself. It reminded her of how he had been when he had first meddled with the thinking cap and almost destroyed his mind, slowly fading away into an oblivion of confusion. She held his elbows and looked at him, her face softening. “Yeah, I know, Harry. What happened?”

“It…uh…it’s not working,” he explained, “That’s why I’m here, because I need you guys to put me back together again…give me back my problematic ego and my high IQ because I’m starting to fall apart the way I am…I can feel the pieces of my personality that are missing and I’m all wrong…I’m getting forgetful again, and I need…I need to be whole, Caitlin. That’s why I had to come find you.”

The way he was holding onto her felt so much like an embrace, but Caitlin realized it might be more like she was a life preserver. In that moment, she didn’t care about her wounded pride or her unrequited feelings for Harry; she only wanted to heal him. Even though his last words made her want him more than ever; even though his most innocent touch made fire run through her veins.

“You probably don’t even remember getting my cube…you could have watched it and totally forgotten what I said,” Caitlin gulped as he nodded.

“Yes,” Harry affirmed, his eyes sweeping over her face and her upper body in a way that made her grow warm all over, heat gathering at her core and squeezing. “I have longterm memory, and there’s nothing wrong with my ability to complete routine tasks such as driving, but my short-term memories are fading too quickly. I feel like my understanding of what’s happening in my life is slipping through my fingers.”

“That must be so scary,” Caitlin sighed, “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“It _was_ scary,” he agreed, “Especially now that I’m aware enough of what I need emotionally to care that I’m not keeping in touch with friends, or to find out that you told me something really important and I lost it. It’s been terrifying, right up until now, Caitlin. Now that I’m with you…”

“Harry,” Caitlin said tenderly, reaching up to cup his face. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll help—“

“You always do,” he smiled sadly, leaning into her touch as her heart skipped a beat. “I know that, and I’m grateful, but tell me this, Caitlin…what was in the message?”

“I can’t,” she fumbled, “Harry, it’s too…” she went to lower her hand but he placed his own over it, bending his face down just a little until the universe seemed to stop short. Some desperate shopper brushed by and actually took the bag of lettuce from the floor for themselves, but Caitlin couldn’t see anything except Harry.

“What? It’s too personal?” he asked, leaning in towards her lips as she automatically went slightly up on her toes, his hand moving from her shoulder to her low back. “It’s too private, too sensitive…” Harry kissed her gently and Caitlin felt the coiling sensation at her center tightening, getting hotter and hotter. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, savoring his warm, full lips.

“Yes,” Caitlin answered him belatedly, breaking Harry’s self control until he kissed her again and again, harder, then deeper, sweeping his tongue against hers as his hand traveled dangerously low on her body, only the cover of her coat to conceal the way he caressed her ass. 

Gasping, she clung to him, panting when they came up for air. “People are staring,” she announced, her lips tingling as he grinned at her like the world’s biggest geek, which only made him sexier. 

“Good,” he replied huskily. “So that’s what your message was about?”

“Mmmhmm,” Caitlin confirmed, straightening his now decidedly crooked glasses. “I guess I wasn’t sure you felt the same, but I couldn’t go any longer without asking. I missed you too much.”

“I missed you too,” he sighed. “Caitlin, I’ve always…my feelings for you have always…it’s more than I can…” he shrugged, and it wasn’t memory loss or any reemergence of his more typical social anxieties that made him struggle to express himself. She understood that it was the enormity of his feelings that caused the struggle, and that was something she identified with completely.

“Shhh, you don’t have to say a thing,” she soothed, kissing him again. “Let’s just get you back to your normal self and hope you still want to be with—“

Harry growled, claiming her lips more aggressively and pressing her body tightly to his own. “I told you I’ve always wanted you. This me, the other me, it doesn’t matter, we’re still me, the same man, the man who loves you, Caitlin Snow.” His words came out softer than ever because he had kissed her so fiercely, he was breathless. “I need to go back to the way I was before to survive and be whole, but I could still never be whole without you. Now that we’re together, I’ll never turn back from that.”

“Promise?” she asked, weak with desire and adoration, her fingers digging into his sweater.

“I promise,” he vowed solemnly.

“Okay,” Caitlin smiled, brushing her tears away as he watched her, then leaned in again to kiss the places where the salt had streaked her skin. “Come on, Harry,” she urged solicitously, “Let’s go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

Harry parked the STAR Labs van neatly, his routine activities as well in hand as he’d described to Caitlin earlier. Turning the headlights off, he leaned over and kissed her gently, tenderly, a painful yearning infusing the gesture.

“What is it, Harry?” Caitlin asked, sensing his fear, tasting it as surely as if it was her own…and perhaps it was. “You’re afraid you’ll forget this, forget us?”

“I know I will,” he sighed as she ran her fingers lovingly through his hair, then caressed his face. “And the thought of forgetting it hurts.”

“Hey,” she smiled, wanting to encourage and soothe him even as his expectation broke her own heart. “That means you get to confess your feelings to me all over again, hear me say I want you too. Hear me say…” Her voice got softer, more vulnerable. “I love you, Harry Wells.”

“I love you too,” he said instantly, reaching for her like a light in the darkness, wrapping her up in his arms as best he could with the stick shift between them. Their kiss now was slow, deep, and soulful, unhindered by the salt of Caitlin’s tears as he swept them away with his thumbs, as he kissed them away, his warm lips pressing all over her face until she felt weak in the knees.

“Hey…Cait?” Harry asked, his husky voice sounding insanely sexy framing her nickname. She laughed softly at her lovestruck reaction and raised her eyebrows in curiosity.

“Yeah?” she replied, still cupping and stroking his adorable face.

“Is that the first time we ever said ‘I love you’ to each other? Was that our first kiss?” He was so sincere, so earnestly baffled that she burst into tears again. “Hey, hey,” he rushed to comfort her, hugging her snugly and kissing her head as she buried her face in his chest. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t, huh? I didn’t mean to forget, this is why — wait, I’m on Earth-1, so I must have come here to get your help, to get Cisco’s help, to put me back the way I was before so I can…” 

“Yes, Harry,” Caitlin said, sniffling and smiling, her cheeks shining in the dim moonlight that fell across the seats of the car. Even in the midst of the tragedy of the situation and the heartbreak of seeing him suffer like this so bravely, he was so cute when he babbled that she couldn’t help laughing. “Let’s get you inside and start working on this pronto. We’ll have to take a break from first kisses just for a little while, okay?”

He wiped her pretty, pink cheeks with his coat sleeve, nodding. “Okay.” He bit his lip thoughtfully as she touched his hair again, her eyes squinting in realization.

“You went out in public without your hat. Another memory issue?” She tilted her head, the scientist back, inquiring.

“Hmm. Nah, I should remember things like that out of habit. I’ve got a feeling that wherever I was going, I was so deadset on getting there as soon as possible that I didn’t care about details. Details are hard to focus on when every moment you have an impulse could be the last chance you get to act on it.” 

He exited the van, striding over to open her door and take her hand so she could hop down. The temptation to melt into his strong arms again was overwhelming, but she just took his hand as they walked into the building together.

“Well, let’s just say I’m loving your newfound loss of impulse control,” she grinned while they made their way to the elevator. “Are you _sure_ you’ll still be as open to being with me romantically once you’re back to your sexily grumpy old self?”

The doors closed and Harry smirked at her, then backed her against the wall, pinning her wrists by her head as she gasped excitedly, her eyes all over his handsome, seductive face. “Now that I know you find my grumpiness sexy, I’ll be sure to find new ways to apply it to drive you crazy,” he promised, leaning into the curve of her body, speaking against her lips, grazing them gently with his own before speaking again. “And as for ‘old,’ I prefer ‘older.’”

Caitlin felt her pussy throbbing at his attentions and gulped, giving into his intensity. Harry began kissing her neck, shamelessly sloppy, open-mouthed kisses soon joined by a firm bite or two. “Oh, God…” she sighed, shifting her thighs as she grew wetter between them, wishing she could stop the elevator and make love to him here and now. Her body was unraveling with desire, her heart flooding with adoration as her common sense whispered that they couldn’t do this now, not when he wouldn’t remember it later.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked haughtily, turning her on even more with his cocky ego. His lips traveled across the dip in her scooped neckline, savoring her decolletage as she moaned. 

“My…um…my sexy, _older_ boyfriend,” Caitlin confessed with bated breath, “And his very…mmm…arousing temper.”

“Oh,” Harry said, “I _really_ don’t ever want to forget you said that.” They heard the elevator dinging to indicate they’d reached their floor, and he let go of her, stepping back slightly though his eyes still held her blissfully captive.

“ _Finally!_ Where was that grocery store? In Siberia?” Cisco asked impatiently, lunging forward to take Caitlin and Harry by the arms and practically catapult them into the Cortex, where various pieces of tech were scattered around monitors laden with formulas. Oblivious to the romantic vibe in the air between his friends, he pointed to one of the screens excitedly. “Guys, I think I’m really close to rewriting Marlize’s program to restore Harry’s personality while keeping his ability to hold onto memories intact.”

Caitlin examined the program carefully, scanning through Cisco’s elegant, intricate code before nodding, crossing her arms with a slight wariness. “Cisco, this is amazing. I think this can work, but…we need to be sure, we have to be so sure before we tamper with Harry’s brain again.”

“It’s okay,” Harry conceded, hovering over Caitlin’s shoulder to examine the screen. “This will work, it’s perfectly rewritten to solve the original problems and the new ones. Great job, buddy,” he said warmly to Cisco. 

“Yeah, let’s save the ‘great job, buddy’ for when this actually works and we know you’re gonna be okay,” Cisco suggested anxiously.

“I’ll be monitoring your vitals closely the whole time,” Caitlin insisted. “I want you in bed, in my medlab, me by your side in case anything goes wrong and we need to abort the experiment.”

Harry’s face went from determinedly business-like to unmistakably intrigued when she said ‘I want you in bed,’ and Caitlin blushed. “You know what I mean,” she muttered.

“Do I?” Harry inquired flirtatiously. 

“Are you guys… _flirting_ right now? Is this a thing?” Cisco asked, his finger pointing quickly back and forth between the couple as Caitlin nodded and Harry shook his head.

“I, I mean…” Harry looked at Caitlin in surprise. “I don’t remember anything from before we were looking at the new program together and planning how to proceed with the experiment…” He lowered his voice and asked her carefully, “Did something happen between us? Because just now, I thought we were doing that whole tortured quasi-flirtatious thing which I’ve always been afraid was a one-sided fantasy on my part.”

“It’s not a fantasy,” Caitlin smiled, sadness seeping into her heart at this latest memory lapse. But she could feel herself getting better at coping with the recurring problem. She slipped her arm through Harry’s and led him to the lab as Cisco trailed them, utterly confused by their behavior. “We’re very real, Harry…you’ve been my boyfriend for at least an hour.”

“ _What?_ ” Cisco demanded as Harry climbed onto the nearest cot, blushing and smiling at Caitlin. 

“No one ever tells me anything,” Cisco complained, punching away at his tablet as Caitlin laughed, trying not to cry again. She helped Harry off with his shirt, then fastened monitoring pads onto his chest so that she could track his vitals. 

“Cisco, it’s been an _hour_.” She quirked an eyebrow at him and he did not recede his accusatory look, his brown eyes wide and sparkling with a hint of humor.

“Yeah, well, next time, shoot me a text,” he reasoned. “Not that I haven’t noticed the way you two gawk at each other in the lab all these years.”

“I don’t gawk,” Harry objected, fiddling with one of the pads on his chest as Caitlin lightly slapped his hand away and pointed her finger at him. 

“Stay still,” she cautioned sternly.

“That’s so hot,” Harry answered, making Cisco groan behind them.

“See what I mean, gawking!” he insisted on his way back to the Cortex.

“We’re not gawking, we’re _gazing_!” Harry insisted loudly.

“You ready for this?” Caitlin murmured, leaning over him and stroking his hair. He closed his eyes, lost in the sensation of her comforting touch, finding strength in their love to nod in certainty.

“Yes. I’m ready…let’s do this.”

*************************************************************************************

Harry was unconscious during the procedure, Caitlin watching his brain activity and heart rate with razor-sharp attention, trying not to let her nervousness turn into frantic energy. 

They knew it would be a while before he woke, so she stayed by his side all night, sliding another cot over and placing it right up against his, allowing her to lay down beside him. After making sure the blanket was covering his bare torso enough that he wouldn’t be cold, she rested her head on his shoulder and held his hand, unable to close her eyes for quite some time. She anxiously kept watch over his face, looking for any fluctuations that might indicate distress, but he was deep in a peaceful slumber, and watching him eventually became soothing enough that she fell asleep herself.

“Snow,” Harry muttered as he woke the next morning, shifting confusedly in bed beside her. Her eyes flew open to meet his perplexed and surly look as he sat up, glancing around the lab, then back at her as if the entire scenario was worse than inexplicable: it was _annoying._

“What’s going on?”

“Harry, you were having problems as a result of Marlize’s program, when she reset your brain and your personality shifted to become more balanced. You couldn’t hold onto your short term memories, so Cisco rewrote the program and we tried to put you back to normal…I stayed with you to make sure you were okay.” She averted her gaze from his sharp blue eyes and got down from the cot, straightening her disheveled dress. Gathering the strength to face him again, she found that he was looking as irritated as before.

“Well, I don’t feel _normal,_ I feel miserable,” he announced crabbily, “My back is killing me, every inch of my skin feels hyper-sensitive, and my brain…” he rolled his head around his shoulders and winced, pressing his fingers to his temple. “It’s like my brain _hurts._ ”

Cisco came in, having fallen asleep with his head on his desk in the other room, and stopped short at Harry’s conscious and grumpy state. “Well, you _look_ like the regular Harry, but something seems to be off.”

“Yeah, you think?” he snarked, “What the hell did you do to me, Ramon? It’s like if I’m not there to help you, you can’t even compute the simplest of formulas or apply the most basic procedure to perform a task so obvious that it would have come out better if I had literally done it in my sleep, instead of you doing it awake.”

“Jeez,” Cisco sighed as Caitlin worriedly pulled up Harry’s stats on the computer screen beside the cots. “He’s still not right.”

“I’m still right _here,_ ” Harry reminded him, waving his hand sarcastically. “And by the way, Ramon, I’m always right.”

Caitlin approached carefully to remove the monitoring pads as she spoke with as much calm as she could muster. “Well, you're right a lot of the time, Harry, but you’re not usually quite this aggressively grumpy, even with Cisco. He’s your best friend, you know.” This would be okay! She rushed to assure herself, emphatic that it _had_ to be okay. They would fix this, they would get the real Harry all the way back.

“ _Best friend_?” Harry scoffed. “Please. I don’t have friends, why would I have friends? Why would I want or need anything but to be left alone by all of you nosy incompetents? And you, Snow, cut that out.” He batted her hand away coldly as she stared at him, her slight amusement at his ridiculous tirade shifting to hurt feelings. His next words cut her to the quick as he regarded her disdainfully, only a glimmer of mysterious angst beneath the surface of his expression to hint at some strange inner conflict. 

“Don’t touch me,” he snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the angst but don't worry, it's only leading back to more fluff ;)


	3. Chapter 3

“Come on, Snow, I don’t need anyone to babysit me,” Harry groused as she opened the door of her apartment and gestured for him to go in, leveling her boyfriend with a commanding look.

“I beg to differ,” she said crisply, having had a day’s worth of Harry’s full-tilt negativity and feeling her patience nearing its breaking point. “You’re in a highly vulnerable state, in between phases of a procedure that _will_ eventually restore you to your normal personality and good health. I just so happen to care a great deal about those things…about _you_ , Harry. So go inside and relax. You’ll need another night of rest before you’re able to undergo any more experiments.”

Cisco had contacted the Counsel of Wells in addition to Marlize, who was busy teaching at Central City University but still more than willing to drop everything and help her former ally. She blamed herself for the role she’d played in her husband’s attack on Team Flash, an ordeal which had been directly responsible for Harry using the thinking cap in such extreme ways. 

Caitlin herself planned to work from home all night, studying Harry’s brain scans and other physiological traits to determine, in coordination with the others back at the lab, what the best step forward would be. Poor Cisco, of course, held himself grimly responsible for making mistakes in last night’s experiment, though the undertaking was so incomparably challenging and he had gotten very close to succeeding. Caitlin had tried to comfort her friend, but Cisco was more determined than ever to save Harry, and she knew he would need to play an active role in doing that if he was going to be able to forgive himself.

“You care a great deal about me,” Harry muttered derisively as he sulked in and then flopped down on the couch, “I guess there’s no accounting for taste.”

“Oh, you’re not so bad, even at your worst,” Caitlin sighed exhaustedly, sitting down beside him and nudging his shoulder as he did his best to seem horribly offended at the outrageous physical contact. Somehow, the self-effacing side of his continual sarcastic dismay for the world seemed to reveal his emotional fragility, and then it became impossible to be even slightly annoyed with him. He might have been slinging insults and snark at herself and everyone else in his path all day, but he was in pain and she loved him _so_ much…she wished she could take the pain onto herself rather than seeing him like this.

“Why are you really doing all of this?” he asked quietly, his fingers back at his temples as his head dropped and Caitlin ached to rub his back, to show him comfort and affection, but he might push her away again and she didn’t know if she could handle that. “Why are any of you? I mean, you all say you love me so much, but what have I ever been but a burden?” he laughed harshly and added, “Even now!” as her jaw dropped and her eyes went huge. How could he say that?

“Come on, Snow, look at my track record. It’s not the most stellar recommendation I can think of for coming anywhere near me. I’m just…a liability even at my best. You’d all be better off if I went somewhere far away—“

“Hey,” Caitlin interrupted him firmly, though it was so hard not to burst into tears that she was holding herself together by the thinnest veneer of strength. “That’s about enough of that, Eeyore. You’re not well, and we’re going to get you better. That’s what’s important to focus on now. And you got your genius _and_ your short-term memory back! Kind of a big deal, Harry. We just need to balance out your limbic structure so that your self worth and esteem for others can come out of the dark of this overpowering anxiety that’s got hold of you now.”

“Oh, is that all? That’ll be a cinch,” Harry snapped.

“Just leave it in our expert hands,” she answered smoothly, “And now I’m going to get you some more medicine for your headache, plus some dinner. Do you want to watch tv or read while I’m gone?”

Fear flickered across his face, surprising her. “You’re leaving?”

“Harry,” Caitlin sighed, taking his hand though he left it limp and cold in her soft grip. She yearned so deeply to hug him, but she knew he wouldn’t want that. “No, I don’t have to. Here, see the kitchen, right over there? That’s where I’ll be. I _was_ going to order you takeout so your meal would be somewhat palatable, but I’ll see what I can put together myself from the limited selection in my fridge.” She spoke wryly, knowing that her self-deprecating attitude about her truthfully problematic cooking abilities would take away the sting of his self-consciousness after showing a hint of vulnerability.

“Don’t worry, Snow, there’s nothing you could make me that I wouldn’t turn my nose up at anyway, no matter how objectively tasty it might appear.”

“Was that a joke?” she chirped, peering at the pathetic contents of her fridge.

“No,” he lied brusquely.

A burned grilled cheese and bowl of tomato soup later, Caitlin could tell Harry was beyond exhausted. “Come on, why don’t you lie down right here, and I’ll just be right across from you, working,” she suggested tenderly, the sweetness in her voice making him shudder and hug himself, falling back into the couch, curled up and anxious, eyes squeezed shut.

“Harry,” she murmured, sinking to her knees beside him and reaching out to touch him, then drawing her hand back. “What is it?”

“I just can’t stand anything,” he said insistently, “Everything is terrible and everything hurts, especially being around you of all people because I —“ He looked at her then, his eyes bright and wet. “I think I love you, Snow, more than anything, but I hate the way it feels, the power of it. And even though it's too overwhelming, I, I want you to touch me.”

Tentatively, Caitlin swept her fingers over his cheek, making him shiver in tormented ecstasy. “Your skin’s still hypersensitive,” she cautioned softly, “And I love you, too, Harry. More than anything.”

He got up and tried to start pacing, a habit that normally took the edge off his nerves, but he was moving too fast, making himself dizzy until he had to lean on a chair at the kitchen table to remain standing.

“Hey, be careful!” Caitlin warned, rushing to him as he held his free hand out to halt her from getting too close.

“Stop it, Snow! I don’t need your help, I don’t want your help! God, you’d think it was obvious by now, you’re driving me crazy, always _there_ —“ he pointed at her angrily, then gestured at his own head as his face fell slightly. “Always here,” he said softly as their gazes locked like they were both coming home.

“I’ll be wherever you need me to be, Harry,” Caitlin promised, shrugging. “If you need space, if you want me close, if I need to take care of you no matter how thoroughly you’ve mastered the art of grumpiness after this latest debacle, I’m here for you, I always will be.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he accused, glaring at her. “You know this can never work, God knows what I’ll turn into with the next experiment or if I’ll ever be back to my regular self. How can you subject yourself to this kind of misery, Snow? You’re smarter than this, you deserve better, just — cut and run while you still can, the whole thing’s too tragic to be worth this fight.”

“It isn’t tragic,” she corrected him confidently, knowing this much for sure. “It’s our love story, Harry Wells. It’s our very own fairy tale, and everyone knows the best fairy tales are the—“

“The really old ones, the weird ones, the—“ Harry paused thoughtfully, his genius side having been unable to resist jumping in on her reasoning process.

“The dark ones,” Caitlin nodded at his unspoken conclusion. “And in this fairy tale, it’s the girl who has to find a way to wake the boy from his enchanted slumber. It’s me, waking you up, Harry, whatever it takes.” She waved her hand back at her workstation, then smiled so sincerely that it cut him up inside.

At her words, Harry’s heart pounded and his need for her combatted his defeatist attitude until he gripped the chair back, this time to keep himself from running to her arms because he couldn’t withstand the pain of that pleasure. 

“Can I help you to lie down?” she suggested gently, prompting him to shake his head with a weary sigh.

“No, you can’t,” he replied, sulking back to the couch. “I’ll try to rest, but I’m not making any promises,” he added as he lay down and tugged the blanket up over himself. _Mistake._ The fleece-lined blanket was soft from years of use and it smelled like Caitlin. He wanted to rip it to shreds and bury his face in it at the same time.

“Goodnight, Harry,” Caitlin answered quietly, willing her heartbeat to stay steady and her emotions to remain steadfastly hopeful despite the swirling fears that threatened to take her over as she turned back to her laptop for a long night of work.

***************************************************************************

Caitlin fell asleep with her head on her desk after finally making a breakthrough alongside her collaborators back at STAR Labs. They’d be ready to resume the experiment once Harry was well enough to proceed, and she was almost positive it would work this time. They’d run through the formulas, considering every variable, every biological and psychological quirk that could effect the results, over and over until they were all burned out, but confident in their consensus: they’d cracked the code and they could save Harry.

Waking around 3am, she stretched her arms and legs out, groaning softly at the stiffness in her neck, kicking off her work heels and wriggling her toes. Still wearing her white silk sleeveless shirt, short black skirt and clear pantyhose, she felt oddly soothed despite the constricted way it felt to wear the outfit for so long and fall asleep in it rather than her comfy pj’s. This was the outfit she’d had on when she saw Harry again in the supermarket, then he’d told her he wanted her too and kissed her for the very first time…but there were no kisses between them he would remember now. It was bittersweet, to think the next time would be the first for him.

Glancing at the couch, she didn’t see Harry’s figure huddled up in the blanket anymore, but the telltale rustling sound coming from the kitchen told her he was nearby before she could have a panic attack at the thought he’d left. _Guess that goes both ways._

She padded almost silently into the kitchen to find him opening cabinets and drawers, frustratedly looking for something he apparently couldn’t find. “Hi,” she murmured, still a little groggy, “What’s up?”

“Nothing, except there’s no food in this kitchen, or almost no food, unless you count one box of saltines, a can of tuna, half a bottle of merlot and a box of pop tarts.” He scowled, turning to face her as the sight of her sleep-rumbled hair, worn-out eyes, flushed cheeks, and the unfastened button at the top of her shirt increased his stress.

“What is that, an inventory? Harry, I’m never here. And when I am here, I’m alone, so there’s no point in me having a vast array of snack options. I do think there’s some popcorn…” She yawned, patting her mouth as he stared at her pretty, pale fingers and luscious lips. “Mmm, up there, in the top cabinet—oh!”

Harry had snapped, grabbing her by the waist and sitting her on the counter, his lips searing into hers with a possessive kiss as her arms immediately circled his neck. Caitlin moaned, parting her lips to invite his tongue as her fingers drove into his hair, twisting the strands and tugging at them.

The small touch of pain mixed with the pleasure of the moment made Harry kiss her more hungrily as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled his hard body against her own soft, quickly-unraveling one. “Yes,” he muttered fiercely at her aggression, “God, _yes_ …that’s perfect…” 

Caitlin drew back from his lips just long enough to lean up and kiss his neck, then bite down sharply, guessing correctly that in his heightened state of sensitivity, with the battle he faced of fighting off his instincts to color everything in the negative, the pain would balance his unbearable happiness. “Cait,” he gasped with a rush of excited arousal, “Yes, yes…” 

The sound of the raw need in his familiar, much-loved, husky voice made Caitlin even hotter and wetter. She pulled his face to hers roughly and kissed him again, her fingers dipping beneath his black sweater and t-shirt, reaching around to scratch his back as he groaned in soft rapture against her mouth. Their kisses grew wild and reckless as they clung together, their hands roving shamelessly over each other’s bodies. It felt like they needed this connection so desperately just to survive this night.

Caitlin’s phone chirped, and the first time they ignored it as Harry unbuttoned her blouse and she yanked his belt off. But then it blared out with a warning notification, a tell-tale sign that there was an emergency and the rest of Team Flash was trying to get in touch.

“Dammit,” Harry sighed as Caitlin grabbed the phone as best she could with a shaky hand. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips even fuller than usual from their excessive kissing, and she dialed Cisco, but kept her wide, lust-blown eyes on Harry. 

“What’s going on, Cisco?” she asked, taking Harry’s hand and squeezing it. He was looking at her as if she was an impossible mystery, someone he needed so badly when needing people was by its very nature a horrible and ill-fated idea.

“What’s going on is that Cicada just showed up and completely trashed the Lab,” Cisco announced, panic lacing his every word. “Barry was across town with Ralph, stopping a bank robbery, and — I tried to get a power dampening bracelet on him but he’s just too damn strong, Caitlin, too fast—“

“Cisco, it’s okay, you were alone and you could have lost your powers again if Cicada got close enough.” Caitlin’s soothing words did little to calm Cisco’s growing sense of frustration with his recent string of set-backs.

“It’s not okay, Caitlin! The lab is completely wrecked, along with all my work tonight on Harry’s conundrum. Cicada kept monologuing about taking away our resources so we can’t help or encourage the metahuman scourge. Who knows what his next move is—“

“I think I know,” Caitlin said bluntly as she glanced at a figure flying by outside her kitchen window, speeding so quickly through the air that an attack was obviously imminent. She rolled her shoulders back as her hair began turning white, her eyes flashing ice blue, frigid gusts of air puffing out in delicate tendrils from her fingertips.

“Is that Cicada, what the hell is he doing?” Harry’s expression blazed with anger and protectiveness as they both looked up at the ceiling of her top-floor apartment. “He knows you’re the only one who can really fight him, I read the files on your most recent run-ins with this guy — your powers don’t come from dark matter, so why would he dare to confront you like this?”

Cicada came crashing through the ceiling and stood before them with a prideful, majestic stance, his face shrouded by his hood and covered by his mask so that only the malevolent glint in his eyes joined his body language to announce his new sense of confidence in defeating Killer Frost.

“Hey, cricket freak,” Killer Frost snarked once the dust had cleared, her snide tone mostly covering the undercurrent of fear she felt at this development. She instinctively shielded Harry with her body, but she knew perfectly well he wouldn’t remain on the sidelines no matter how foolish it would be for a mere human to engage Cicada.

“Heard you’ve been busy tonight,” she smirked, prompting Cicada to nod menacingly.

“Yes, Frost,” he acknowledged, his gravely voice reinforcing his ominous attitude. “And I’m going to be even busier now. I’ve…made a few modifications.” He reached into his cloak and withdraw his dagger while she rolled her eyes, unimpressed.

“I’m shaking in my boots,” she drawled, the icy vapors thickening as they continued to pour out from her fingers. She raised them, pointing the gusts at Cicada as he aimed his dagger.

The question remained, who would be faster? Time seemed to move in slow motion as surely as it did for Barry inside the speed force. Harry felt every millisecond clicking by as his terror over the situation rose higher and higher, blending with his rage against Cicada until he couldn’t resist making a bold move of his own.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry surprised both Killer Frost and Cicada, lunging in a surge of adrenaline for an energy rifle which he’d hidden behind a loose panel in Caitlin’s wall the year before. He stood beside Frost and leveled the weapon at Cicada, saying quietly and firmly to her, “get out of here. I’ll take care of this.”

“Are you insane? Wait, don’t answer that, lover boy,” Frost hissed, her shiny blue lips pursing and her brow creased, her disapproval tinged with worry. “Cicada will destroy you within seconds if I go anywhere, so consider me _frozen_ to this spot.”

“Again with the puns,” Harry complained as Cicada’s gaze flickered confusedly between the two of them.

“You know you love it, geek boy,” Killer Frost snarked back, keeping her eyes locked on their temporarily motionless foe.

“I have no wish to harm you, Harrison Wells,” Cicada announced solemnly, probably opting to use the catch-all name in his bewilderment over which particular Wells this was. “But I will if you don’t get out of my way.”

“Oh, mmm-hmm, uh-huh, okay,” Harry retorted derisively, lifting his rifle without another thought and firing at Cicada, hitting the metahuman in the chest, just narrowly missing the injured part of his lung where the shrapnel was still lodged.

Frost flinched in surprise as Cicada flew backwards and landed sprawled on his back among the dusty rubble of the roof and ceiling. She ran forward and shot her hands out to give their nemesis a particularly strong blast of her iciest power. Cicada lay prone, neutralized for the time being as he struggled to catch his breath.

“I missed your sore spot on purpose. “It won’t happen again,” Harry bit out as he hovered over the villain, Frost tugging at his sleeve, urging him to back up in case Cicada revived. But Harry couldn’t have cared less whether their nemesis would snap back to consciousness. Common sense be damned, he would stop at nothing to shield Caitlin from harm.

***************************************************************************

“That was reckless, Harry,” Barry chided back in the lab when they gathered around in the morning to discuss the latest developments. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, meaning to exude a bit more authority than he really could as one corner of his mouth just barely twitched up into a smile.

“Kinda badass, though,” Ralph put in as Cisco swatted at his arm.

“Come on, man! He could have been killed,” Cisco argued irritably. Ralph looked at him critically for a beat, causing Cisco to throw his hands up in defeat.

“Alright, it was badass, it was definitely badass, but it is _not_ to be repeated,” Cisco insisted, pointing at Harry accusingly as the latter shrugged and chortled. 

“You sound like me, Ramon,” he said drily. “Finally, you want to be properly vigilent, at the worst possible time, the one time we don’t need it.”

Caitlin shot Harry a thoughtful and inquisitive look. Both Dr. Wells and Dr. Snow were freshly showered and clad in Star Labs sweats, and as Harry replaced his glasses on his nose, she couldn’t help but think his comment to Cisco had been more humorous than bitter. 

“You mean because a guy like Cicada is so insane that the only way to beat him is to get a little off-kilter and unpredictable ourselves?” Barry asked, rubbing his chin as he contemplated the logic of Harry’s suggestion.

“Exactly, Allen, I’m so glad to see that my genius has rubbed off on all of you,” Harry confirmed. 

“Some of us already possess this genius to which you so cavalierly refer,” Sherloque put in, looking his doppelgänger up and down in mingled curiosity and disdain. “You cannot simply go charging, willynilly, at a metahuman foe as powerful as Cicada, or you may end up flat on your back and impaled by a lightening dagger before you can form your next clever bon mot, no?”

“Ah, but I never said we were charging at him willy-nilly, Harrison Holmes or whoever you are,” Harry replied breezily. “I am referring to a calculated risk. I took one this evening to great success, now Cicada is locked up in our prison. Surely you took a few such risks in your past in order to become the multiverse’s most overrated detective?”

“Oui, he is definitely a version of me,” Sherloque observed, as if Harry’s grumpiness evoked his begrudging respect.

“I see your point, Harry,” Caitlin remarked, smoothly redirecting the conversation back on track, “After all, Cicada is hardly invulnerable; Killer Frost made him run for the hills a couple of weeks ago, and you incapacitated him just by targeting his central weakness: the shrapnel in his lung. If we come up with some kind of device designed just for Cicada, to keep his powers under control, that could be the solution — I mean, it’s worked in the past for plenty of other metas.”

“Why, thank you, Snow,” Harry grinned with a cocky little bow, stoking the fire of her developing suspicion about his state of mind.

“Sure, but we all know that cell isn’t gonna hold him for long,” Cisco put in worriedly. “We need to get busy working. I mean, yeah, Barry’s ensured that the mess in the lab was squared away in the blink of an eye, but we can’t just replace all the broken tech, which was just what Cicada was counting on when he wrecked the place. And what about Harry’s personality, we’ve got to get him straightened out if he’s gonna help us — _hey_ , wait a minute, Harry, did you just smile?”

“No,” Harry said gruffly, crossing his arms as Caitlin laughed.

“So, you noticed it too,” she laughed to Cisco, her eyes sparkling as her heart kept lifting with each piece of evidence that Harry was getting back to his authentic, adorably cynical powder keg of genius and unsuccessfully repressed sentimentality. 

“His overall disposition is actually rather cheerful for a Wells,” Sherloque mused as Harry grunted dismissively.

“Cheerful,” Harry argued, “ _Please_. I’m just as cantankerous as any of the Wellses, I’ll have you know, and about ten times as useful. Now, let’s get to work rebuilding our lost tech before Cicada busts out of that cell.”

But as Caitlin rushed forward and clasped his hands in hers, looking up at him in wonderment, his face relaxed and he gave a helpless little smile, then a short laugh of confusion. “What, Snow? What is it?”

“Harry, you’re _you_ again,” Caitlin enthused, stroking his face as his only recourse was to blush and stammer awkwardly. 

Cisco sprang into action, scanning Harry with an app on his phone which he’d interfaced with the programming of the thinking cap project.

“Harry, man, your brain looks _amazing_!” Cisco crowed triumphantly as Harry shrugged, overwhelmed by all the attention as the team circled him excitedly.

“Well, of course it does, Ramon, my brilliancy is a well-established fact. Really, guys, you don’t need to make a big deal out of this.” He glanced down at Caitlin, flushing redder at the sight of her exuberant beauty and the way she looked at him like he hung the moon.

“It’s a huge deal, Harry, we want you healthy,” Caitlin insisted warmly, rubbing his hands as he looked all around at the happy smiles of his friends. He dropped his head and muttered some more dismissive comments as Cisco clapped him on the back and Barry gave Ralph a high five.

“But what made him come back to his true self, what caused the mélodramatique negative outlook and wacky anxiety to recede?” Sherloque stood off to one side, arms crossed as he looked cooly and analytically at Harry.

Now it was Caitlin’s turn to blush. “I think it was when he had to take action to help me fend off Cicada,” she suggested, lovingly adjusting Harry’s glasses as they slipped slightly. “The urgency of that moment, the rush of pure adrenaline seemed to have normalized his overall disposition.”

“You mean, because it was you I was protecting,” Harry put in, brushing a lock of Caitlin’s hair back from her face and then caressing her pink cheek. “Because of the way you make me feel, Snow. Maybe I never needed a thinking cap or any kind of program to even me out. Maybe I just needed to give into my heart’s desire all along to get the balance I needed to feel alright, even to feel…happy.”

Caitlin grinned, throwing her arms around him as the others cleared their throats, chattering and finding excuses to wander off elsewhere. 

“Glad to have you back, Harry,” Barry called over his shoulder as he headed off to give Caitlin and Wells some time alone.

“Just to be clear, Ramon, this means your programming was right all along, you _did_ help get me back to myself; it just took a little time to fully kick in, and a big surrender into emotional openness on my part,” Harry said, his hands perched easily at Caitlin’s waist as she hugged him euphorically.

“That does make me feel better, thought I was losing my touch,” Cisco remarked, sounding more cheerful than he had in days. “But don’t ever tell anyone I said that,” he added, comically stern. Noticing the way Harry and Caitlin were staring at each other, their bodies and faces inching ever closer, he grinned and added merrily, “Okay, I’mma go somewhere else and get working on this plan to keep Cicada under lock and key. You guys should…talk.”

“We should really _talk_ ,” Harry teased, nuzzling his face into Caitlin’s as she giggled against his lips, then kissed him a little messily, wrapped up in the shock of this happy turn of events and torn between laughter and tears. She drew back enough to take in his shy, besotted, delightfully familiar face, his sculpted cheekbones, his cute dimples, and those eyes as startlingly blue and endlessly deep as the prettiest sunny day sky. He bit his ever-tempting lower lip, like he was thinking of something he wanted to say but hesitated to voice it.

“What?” Caitlin asked, noticing how he held her as if she was delicate, precious, breakable, as if he considered it his foremost duty in life to keep her close and safe. He was just as fragile, of course, and they were strong in equal measures too. “Come on, tell me,” she pouted, gently tickled his tummy, making him laugh and lightly bat her away.

_”What?_ What are you thinking, Harry Wells? You know you can tell me anything,” she assured him. 

“Eh…well, it’s just. You see, Caitlin, I—well, uh, the thing is…that is to say…“ Harry scratched the back of his neck, bit his lip again and looked up at the ceiling, over at the walls, down at the floor and then back to her amber gaze, realizing at last it was the only place to find the courage he sought.

“It’s, uh, it’s Christmastime, Snow,” he began awkwardly, gesturing at the decorations which Barry had righted after Cicada’s destructive rampage. 

“So it is,” Caitlin agreed patiently, gently tracing circles on his bicep, which left him wonderfully flustered.

“I love you,” he divulged a little too loudly. “Sorry,” he said, lowering his voice, “This is a little — and I’m a little — you know. Uh, I love you, Cait, it’s Christmas, and it felt really nice being with you last night — um, despite the terrifying state of my disposition, even through that, I could feel how truly _nice_ it was being home, with you. You know? The comfort of, of that. Of you. Us.” He gulped, looking at her as if afraid he was being completely nonsensical. 

“I know,” Caitlin grinned, “It _was_ nice. The nicest thing I’ve…maybe ever felt. And now that we’re together, I don’t plan to be apart from you another night. It’s all I want, Harry, _you’re_ all I want, this Christmas and every Christmas.”

“Great,” he breathed out, astonished at the way it felt to indulge in such perfectly natural, deeply soothing affection, amazed that he could now simply tell Caitlin how he felt anytime he wanted. He could touch her, kiss her, even…memories swirled in his mind, memories of the way he’d had her up on the counter the night before, the insatiable way they’d moved together, his fingers possessively wandering her supple body, then starting to unbutton her top…

Harry felt hot all over as he cupped Caitlin’s face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers, the kiss promising so many more to come, so much more love between them to be cherished and explored.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next few days, Team Flash devised a brilliant gadget to subdue Cicada’s abilities and make sure he stayed put in the Pipeline. They applied some of the same thinking behind the dagger dampener device which Nora had devised, but applied the strategy directly to Cicada’s dark matter-fueled powers rather than just to his weapon. The trick was to allow the dark matter to keep Orlin alive while preventing him from being able to tap into enough of it to resume his trouble-making.

Yes, with time, Cicada might figure out a way to overcome the manacles placed on his powers, as Sherloque never tired of pointing out with smug certainty between sips of tea. It remained to be seen if Orlin Dwyer could ever come back to himself enough to be part of his niece’s life if she recovered, but all the team could do was keep him controlled and hope that the longer he didn’t use his abilities, the more his sanity might start returning.

Meanwhile, Caitlin’s apartment had been so thoroughly damaged by Cicada’s attack that she and Harry had to move, but things were too hectic for them to have the slightest chance to fully set up their new place yet. At the end of every long, intellectually draining work day, Caitlin and Harry went home together, curling up in bed in their apartment full of boxes and falling almost immediately into a deep sleep, usually only waking later to eat and quietly talk about everything on their minds. 

Well, almost everything. Though he held her snugly in his warm embrace, night after night, though she clasped his strong forearm, breathed in his wonderful scent of piney aftershave, coffee and just… _Harry_ , they hadn’t made love yet. Between the exhaustion of their daily grind and the nervousness which she read in his body language, the fear he would make a move too fast or in the wrong way somehow, Caitlin understood that the timing hadn’t been right, and she was content to wait. 

The perfect moment was coming; she felt it in his eyes when he snuck lingering looks at her while they worked together at the lab, his eyes sweeping almost shamelessly over her figure; she sensed it in his body language as he hovered around her so closely given the slightest excuse. He could steal her words mid-sentence, stop her short with just one of those desirous little glances or the way he brushed up against her, supposedly to retrieve some random item on the table beside her, whatever the pretense. As always, she felt deliriously tingly from head to toe with the slightest flirtation from one Harry Wells, but now that he was hers, the sensation was much more intense. Romance and sensuality were sizzling in the air between them, and the build-up was exceedingly promising. 

There was something so fun about the _way_ the feeling was building that Caitlin enjoyed adding fuel to the fire with the outfits she chose each day and the posture she struck up when they were alone in a room together. Harry could barely tear his eyes away from her pert body in those tight little dresses, her long legs in those sexy heels…she was slowly destroying him and they were both loving it.

When Christmas Eve arrived, Harry and Caitlin’s time at the annual West-Allen party was so charged with sexual tension that it was impossible to concentrate on the merest small talk, much to their friends’ understanding amusement and Sherloque’s sarcastically disdainful quips about romance being essentially doomed. 

“I can’t take another second of this,” Harry confessed to Caitlin as he followed her into the kitchen after they both helped to clear away some of the plates from Joe’s living room. 

“What, is the eggnog not up to its usual standard?” Caitlin inquired teasingly, setting the plates down and watching him with bated breath. He looked so flawlessly handsome, even in the hilarious ugly Christmas sweater he’d worn in his attempt to be festive. To her, he was perfect, with his perpetually mussed raven hair which she just wanted to get her hands into to mess up even more, with his tall, strong body and almost complete obliviousness as to how ridiculously hot he was, with his brightly overpowering gaze, and the way he licked his lips as he admired her red lace bodycon dress.

He gave a low chortle. “No, you know it’s not that, Snow.” His voice was so richly intent and aroused, the look on his face so incredibly sinful that she clutched the counter all of a sudden.

“Hmm?” she managed, not up to her usual witty repartee, not if he was going to eye-fuck her so hard her legs shook as her panties stuck to her immediate, obedient wetness.

He strode to her, _hovering_ again, and swept his hand through her luscious curls, leaning down to whisper, “Where’s your purse? We’re leaving. Now.”

**************************************************  
Lost in a fever of Harry’s demanding kisses, she yanked the front door of their apartment open so hard, the doorknob almost made a hole in the wall behind it. From some very distant place in her mind, Caitlin considered maybe _not_ damaging this new place so soon after her last residence had been decimated by Cicada. _Oops!_

“ _Harry!_ ” she laughed as he impatiently slammed the door shut behind them. He just gave her _that_ look again, so sultry and tempting, running his thumb thoughtfully over his lower lip and earning himself a world of consequences. She leaped into his arms and he lifted her off her feet. Caitlin wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him, moaning as he kissed her and groped her ass all the way to the bedroom, his attentions lovingly wanton.

“I was hoping this dress would have an effect on you,” she admitted breathily once he had laid her down on their bed.

“It’s not the dress, Snow,” Harry confessed, easily sliding her body beneath his as he peppered her neck in kisses, his tantalizing fingers skimming the sides of her body, ghosting over her breasts, then down the curve of her waist as her hips rose instinctively. “Well,” he added thoughtfully, the sound of his voice sending chills down her spine as much as the suspense of wondering what he would do next. “I love the dress, don’t get me wrong.”

“Then what?” she asked curiously, sighing as his kisses grew more greedy.

“It’s the girl _in_ the dress, always has been.” he lifted his face above hers and she could see his deep blue eyes lost in emotion. “Cait, whether you’re dressed to the nines or in Star Labs sweats with zero make-up and wet hair, you are unquestionably the most beautiful woman I have ever had the privilege to lay eyes upon.”

She blushed and let out a nervous laugh. “Harry,” she grinned, taking his face in her hands. “I won’t tell anyone else, but you’re incredibly sweet.”

“Good,” Harry said in between kisses which he pressed with increasing fervor to her petal-soft lips, “I think we should keep some things just between us.”

“Mmm, what else did you have in mind?” she asked blissfully.

“We may as well keep it a secret, if not a very well-concealed one, what I really think of this dress,” Harry murmured, tracing his finger down the low neckline as his other hand wandered under the short skirt of the thin dress, then glided firmly up her thigh, relishing the feel of the smooth, nude stockings which hugged her beguiling curves. 

“Yes,” she managed to whisper, given over completely to his big, capable hands. She was trembling and getting wetter by the second as Harry squeezed her thigh, then reached inside the front of her dress to unclasp her bra. 

The late night shadows could do nothing to conceal the wickedness from his smirk as he slipped the strapless bra off and eased it out of the dress, dropping it to the floor beside the bed. Caitlin’s breasts rose and fell quickly beneath the insubstantial lace, then she let out a low moan when he cupped one of them and massaged it through the dress. 

“Hmm,” he mused as his hand roved up and down her thigh, sliding up to her ass and back down again, his touch restricted by the snug confines of the garment. “So tight,” he teased, and she almost fell apart completely. 

“One more secret,” he suggested throatily, kissing her décolletage before glancing back up at her wildly desirous eyes. “We don’t have to tell anyone else how much I’ve always wanted to fuck you, how much I want to fuck you right now, and especially not how hard I’m going to fuck you.”

Was _this_ what had been hiding under his defenses, his surface cynicism, then the layer of shy self-doubt? Caitlin felt she had somehow managed to free Harry’s so-long repressed naughty side, and she’d never felt so powerfully, delightedly overwhelmed. How was she going to handle him? As for that, there was only one way to find out: to handle him extensively, all night long, and probably some mornings, afternoons, sneaky little trysts at Star Labs when no one was noticing, anything it took to thoroughly comprehend the matter, get to know the man inside out, get this feeling as often as was humanly possible. 

“Harry,” she beckoned, wrapping her legs around him as he pushed her sleeves just far enough off her shoulders to lower the neckline further and reveal her breasts. She moved as if to help him get the dress off the rest of the way, but he hushed her still.

“No way, Snow. The dress stays on. The shoes, too.” He smirked again as she locked the red satin pumps behind his back, but this time her own playfulness was ready and waiting.

“Okay, but that means _your_ clothes have to come _off_ ,” she insisted, pulling his festive sweater off, glad his ubiquitous black t-shirt rolled off along with it so that she could draw his long, muscled torso down on top of her, her breasts crushing rapturously to his chest as he groaned in pleasure at the contact.

“God, Caitlin,” he sighed, clutching her face and kissing her lips deeply, grinding his erection against her throbbing cunt as she moaned and tugged at his hair. So, he still liked that, she realized with a thrill when he groaned more harshly and yanked her stockings, then her panties down. She gasped at his aggression and opened her legs helplessly for him. Her shoes had clunked to the floor when her stockings came off, but he took a moment to reach down, retrieve them, and place them lovingly back on her feet. _Bad boy._ She raised her eyebrows and giggled, but his next bout of mischief soon evoked a more serious reaction from her.

“Did I mention I need you?” Harry’s skilled fingers slid between her wet folds, two of them entering her slowly as she arched her back beneath him, causing her breasts to stand out in all their beauty, her nipples hard and alert to his every move.

Then Harry was stroking his fingers in and out of her slick pussy as he lowered his lips to her breasts, kissing and sucking until the combined rhythm began to drive her completely wild. She clutched at his hair, rolled her hips up in time with his thrusts, her soft, girlish mewls matching the same tempo. Caitlin’s erotic noises, along with the taste and feel of her exquisite body, urged Harry on with ever-increasing eagerness. 

“That’s it, come for me, baby,” he sighed, pumping his fingers deep and firmly, and dazedly she wondered if he knew the effect his voice had on her, the power, the raw desperation he could bring out of her with such a sinfully sweet instruction, or his instinctual surrender into calling her “baby” for the first time. 

Harry’s endlessly seductive voice combined with the reality of _his_ hand inside her, _his_ mouth sliding and circling wetly over her sensitive nipples, the feeling of Harry Wells loving her so perfectly, until she orgasmed, sharp and fast, bucking against his hand, feeling his eyes locked on her, hearing his breaths coming heavy and hard as he watched her falling apart at his command.

“You’re too beautiful,” he said, vulnerable at the sight of her ultimate vulnerability, and once he drew his fingers from her damp heat, the deprivation of his touch made her almost want to scream in frustration. 

Caitlin was startled by the force of her need for him, but he read her face and rushed to reassure her. “It’s alright, baby, I know…I feel it too,” he soothed, placing her hands on his belt and nodding as she immediately undid it and pushed his pants down with shaking fingers, her pussy still squeezing and releasing with the residual pressure of her orgasm, her whole body ceaselessly craving more, all of him. 

“Harry,” she smiled, eyes widening at the sight of his rigid cock bulging against his black boxer briefs, “Wanna know one of my secrets?”

“I wanna know them all,” he confirmed, his heart pounding under her palm. “Tell me.”

She sat up and gently urged him onto his back so that she could climb on top of him, straddling him and then tugging his underwear down with a wicked grin of her own. Caitlin reached down to take his hot, hard arousal in her hand as he gasped and gripped her hips in feverish expectation. He watched her, his eyes hungrily taking in her stunning body, the red dress clinging to her ribs and shoved up over her thighs, her long, lustrous hair spilled around her shoulders, her smoky, sensuous amber eyes, her cherry-red lipstick worn away from all the kissing, slightly ringing the edges of her sumptuous mouth. Caitlin watched him watching her as she brought her hips up higher and positioned his erection at her sopping slit. She felt the love in his gaze and the truth of his need in his body, heard it in his aching sighs. 

“I’ve always wanted to do this to you,” she confessed boldly, sinking down on his cock and enveloping his girth in her tight, slick pussy until any other words she had planned simply disintegrated into loud, reckless moans. “God, Harry!”

His own cries were as shameless as she rode him, as his hands tightened on her hips, his head thrown back in the shock of the pleasure, but then he had to look at her again, had to see her rocking up and down as the rhythm began to build up the tension in both their bodies, as her breasts bobbed and her voice got even louder, forgetting the entirety of her vocabulary aside from his name, “God,” and “yes,” over and over. He was dizzy, in her power as much as she was in his, feeling that all-encompassing pressure inside him mounting higher until he came with a harsh groan, fingers kneading her ass while she kept fucking him, drawing out his orgasm until her own hit. Harry felt her pussy hugging him tighter and gasped euphorically as she squeezed her eyes shut and yelled out in surprise, the explosion of her rapture far exceeding her already-high expectations. 

Caitlin collapsed on top of him, grabbing his bicep and clutching him hard, and he roved his hand over her smooth, delicate back just before he spanked her adorable, irresistible little ass, making her moan and bite his shoulder, her hair pooled out all over his chest in a gorgeous, raspberry-scented haze.

“Merry Christmas, Snow,” Harry panted, making her laugh and nibble at his arm again, tracing the muscular lines of his body which she’d lusted after for so long. 

“Merry Christmas, Harry, and thanks for wearing those tight shirts and sweaters all the time, getting me all worked up.” She looked up at him and blew her hair out of her face, then nestled into his embrace and rested her palm on his chest, her chin on her hand. Despite _everything_ that had just happened between them, he delighted her by blushing and giving a bashful laugh that made her want to have her way with him all over again.

“I guess I never fully realized until now that you, uh…the _way_ you noticed me,” Harry admitted, “But thanks for wearing all those insanely sexy little outfits around me all the time, you really reap what you sow, doctor, and don’t you forget it.”

“Believe me, I won’t,” Caitlin grinned, laying her cheek on his chest and reaching up to caress his face. He had his arms wrapped snugly around her, one of them on her back but the other still planted on her ass, just the right combination of cozy and naughty.

“You noticed me,” Harry repeated thoughtfully, “You always did. Through all my defenses. You see me in the dark, Cait.”

“You see me, too,” she answered, her heart skipping a beat at his tender words. “You’re always there for me, Harry. I just hope you know that all those things about yourself that you call ‘dark,’ they’re all part of why I love you. Just like you never got scared off by my Killer Frost side or the times I yelled at you…” this latter comment made them both chuckle.

“I like it when you yell at me, Snow,” he assured her. “You’re sexy when you’re mad. A _little_ scary, but very, very sexy.”

“You know I can’t stay mad at you,” she admitted, lifting up to kiss his lips, her breasts brushing his chest and making him give a moan against her mouth. “You always give me that look. That incredulous, turned-on, ‘okay-you’re-right, Caitlin’ look. And I just…melt.”

“So, you knew you were turning me on, even before we said we were in love?” Harry asked, intrigued, his hands stroking over her body again and again until her eyes could have rolled up in her head at the distracting sensation of him casually claiming her.

“I hoped,” she explained, kissing him again more deeply as his fingers raked through her hair, “I hoped so much. I needed you, too, Harry…I need you…” 

They made love again, and it was soft and lingering and rough and fierce, leaving her wondrously spellbound by the way he poured out his affection, his passion for her that knew no bounds. Their love had broken through the barriers of their insecurities and left them wrapped up in a happiness that felt as natural as being apart had been hellish.

“There’s something I wanted to show you when we got home tonight,” Harry said slightly hoarsely as they lay exhaustedly, haphazardly tangled up together in post-coital bliss, part two.

“Um, I think you showed me,” Caitlin laughed, her legs still shaking and her hand feeling pleasantly heavy in his hair as he looked up from where his face was pressed to her breast. 

“Well, okay, I did show you _that_ ,” Harry conceded joyfully, “but I want to show you something else, too.”

“I don’t even know if I can move yet,” she sighed, prompting him into action. With a sly smile, he helped her out of what was left of her dress and placed her shoes on the floor, then picked her up and carried her naked to the living room, depositing her carefully on the couch before wrapping a blanket around her, grabbing a second one to sling around his own hips with a looseness for which she was grateful. “I could get used to this,” she admitted. “Now what is it you want to show me?”

“Ah, something’s missing,” Harry pondered, rubbing his chin before his eyes lit up in realization. “Yes! I know.” He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring them each one and handing Caitlin hers.

“Now,” he announced with boyish excitement, leaning down to plug something into a nearby outlet. A second later, the dim living room was utterly awash in dazzling Christmas lights of every color, the whole wall almost heavy with them, the ceiling draped in candy-cane fairy lights and a big, twinkling tree at the center of it all.

“Wow!” Caitlin gushed ecstatically, almost dropping her glass as she looked around in astonishment, “When did you have time to do all this?”

“I can be sneaky for a good cause,” Harry reminded her. “I know you were a little sad we hadn’t had time to decorate after moving so suddenly, and well…I wanted you to have this. Cisco helped me a little, not that his tinsel placement has improved one iota from last year’s fiasco. But you know, it’s the thought that counts—“

Before he could continue with any more nervous babble, Caitlin had stood long enough to clasp his face and kiss him warmly, pulling him down onto the couch with her.

“It’s amazing,” she told him, handing him his glass and taking a sip from her own. “But then again, you never cease to amaze me.” 

But that was him, Caitlin mused as she snuggled up to him, that was Harry Wells. Messy, sloppy, brilliant and clueless, delicious and corrosive. Falling apart and putting her back together at the same time. Her beautiful wreck, her forever soulmate.

“Well, you amaze me ceaselessly, too, Snow,” Harry said huskily, kissing her forehead and hugging her closer as they sipped their wine and looked at the Christmas lights, at their cute, probably temporary little apartment and the unpacked boxes stacked around them. They felt the limitless possibilities of their future together, and it was most _definitely_ amazing.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [On Camera](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18617236) by [DancesWithSeatbelts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancesWithSeatbelts/pseuds/DancesWithSeatbelts)




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